This month’s Quiet Place comes from deep within a flotation tank, something humans were not designed to do but what is being touted as the next big thing. Basically it consists of lying in suspended animation in a warm, shallow tank of water loaded with a lot of salt - much like a Dead Sea holiday, but a lot more floaty.
So what goes on? Well, after a raft of form filling, paperwork and disclaimers, you are shown to your private room. Shed your clothes (yep, all of them) and faff around in the shower - your prelude to entering the hi tech egg shaped pod. While youre finishing your shower, the liquid salt laden water is being pumped in.Time to climb into the womblike pod with what little is left of your dignity. Indeed it is very womblike, apart from the irritating light show, the remote industrial chugging and the generic new age music. I can understand the theory and claims of ultimate relaxation, but this is largely reliant upon the customer's ability and willingness to relax down.
In complete darkness with the pod fully closed, you now realise that there is nowhere to sit against due to all the curved edges and salty smooth surfaces. All there is to do is lie back on a head rest and float very gently in a star shape from one side of the pod to the other. This is where you start thinking ‘well, how natural and ecological is this? Were you aware that flotation origins were through dubious 1960s sensory deprivation tanks after experimentation with LSD and Ketamine?’ If you do manage to nod off within the hour, rest assured the alarm systems will kick in, together with the reintroduction of music, lights and the start of system drainage. Once again your dignity is brought into question as your body tries desperately to leave the lip of the pod - a slithering slimy mass of skin and salt somewhere between Frankenstein's monster and a conger eel. Time to break out the fluffy towels again for yet another shower, this time to rid the body of salt and to rid the eyes of redness.
It's a pricey therapy and these of course are just my personal opinions from one session. Personally speaking, I found that simply closing my eyes in silence or staring into a candle flame were more effective. But hey this is embracing the future. One that may just suit you in your quest for a Quiet Place. Let us know how you get on!
Copyright 2023 Dave Fletcher
Photo: stock
www.cariadwellbeing.co.uk